Tag: angry words

A conversation can quickly go from bad to worse. At the onset of a confrontation stop talking, refocus on the topic, and if the conversation continues resume with mindful words. Confrontation is part of life, but angry outbursts are unacceptable. They are destructive words that can ruin relationships. The best way to deal with angry outbursts is to avoid them. Three ways to avoid angry outbursts are to recognize your triggers, confront lovingly, and retreat.

1. Recognize your triggers: There are words, body language, and tones that quickly escalate a conversation from calm to confrontational to an angry outburst. Do not allow this to happen by controlling the tone and preparing for an escape if the conversation escalates. If the person you are speaking with becomes agitated remain focused on the task. Do not be lured into an angry outburst because it becomes a war of words rather than a meaningful conversation.
2. Confront lovingly: Before conversing think of how you would feel if the subject matter were presented to you. If it is a conversation with highly sensitive content be extremely selective with words. Avoid placing blame, offensive words, and the use of false content. Sensitive issues can be resolved without an angry outburst when handled with care.

3. Retreat: When the conversation shifts from confrontational to angry outburst there is no need to continue. If possible, state that the conversation is out of control and suggest walking away. But if you are engrossed in the outbursts deescalate the situation by becoming quiet. If the other participant continues with outbursts remove yourself. Apologize if you must but leave. After calming down think of a positive way to continue the conversation or accept there is no resolution. Sometimes agreeing to disagree is the best resolve.

The penalties of angry outbursts:

1. Angry words released from your mouth cannot be retracted. They receive energy from hidden places in the heart where pain, deceit, and misconceptions await the opportunity to display themselves. Control yourself when the conversation shifts to confrontational and prevent the irrevocable angry outburst.
2. Angry words can cause permanent damage to relationships. It does not matter who starts the mud-slinging the words are damaging. The words are hurtful and often intentional. Recovery is possible but both parties will have to own their words and apologize. Time can heal the relationship, but only when there are no repeated outbursts.
3. An uncontrolled mind has ways of retrieving painful thoughts. A song, place, or feeling can replay the scene and delay healing. When healing from an angry outburst do not ponder on the event by replacing the bad memories with good.
4. After an angry outburst one’s character can become tainted. It is one thing to think of someone’s potential to tongue-lash but another thing to be on the receiving end of the tongue-lashing. Even when both parties contribute each seems to devalue the other. It is human nature to look past personal flaws while focusing on the flaws of others but continuing in good character can diminish the tainted opinion.

In conclusion, stop saying things in anger that you do not mean. It damages relationships, alters how the person feels about you, and the words can never be retracted. The best thing to do is recognize your triggers, confront lovingly, and retreat. Although confrontation is inevitable consider the costs and exclude any conversation unlikely to be resolved.