Dear Wounded Heart,

Are you the first person called when things go wrong in people’s lives, and the last when they are doing well? You probably don’t even pay attention to it, so take a moment to think about it. Hopefully, you took the moment to think, but if you didn’t, no worries; I have some examples for you.

First: You  are the first person called in times of sickness or for appointments. “Can you bring me some cough medicine, tissues for my nose, soup, crackers, and seltzer?” “Are you available to take my son/your godson to the dentist next week?” “My mom just called, saying she feels horrible. You live closer than I do. Do you mind going over there to check on her?”

• You are the first person to be called for financial help. “Sarah is having a fundraiser. Can I show you samples of the items?” “We have a go fund me for Carl’s cat. Poor thing swallowed a chew toy, and it required surgical removal.” “I hate to ask you this, but I left my card at home this morning. Can you lend me some gas money?”
• You are the first call when needing to be consoled. “Kelvin broke up with me. Can you come over?” “If you don’t come talk to this child, I am going to lose it!” Are you available to sit with me in therapy?

Last: You are the last person mentioned, if mentioned at all, when praise is given as a support system.

• You are not supported financially for fundraisers or go fund me. And rarely, if ever, are you paid back borrowed money.
• You are the last person invited to the celebration. Unless there is a need for you to assist with the task.

You are good to people, and that is commendable. But it’s time for you to be good to yourself as well. If you are the first person called in times of crisis, you should also be the first person called for the victory dance. Your efforts are often sacrifices and fulfill a need for others at personal expense. It’s not that you need to be recognized, but that you need to be appreciated. And being the first called and last recognized is blatant unappreciation.

Sincerely,

Healing