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Eating Santa’s Cookies

 

On Christmas Eve we have a Pajama Jammie Jam. This allows my inner circle to exchange gifts with each other in one location. There is something for everyone to enjoy at the Pajama Jammie Jam. We eat, drink, play games, paint, build gingerbread houses, dance, take pictures in our pajamas, and of course exchange gifts.

This year my great-goddaughter is 3 years old and able to appreciate the festivities. (I call her queen of the stink face; because she has the most expressive face especially when aggravated.) We were winding down the event and hoping for a smooth transition from party to bed. When my great-godchildren started a conversation about Santa’s cookies. Being their GiGi, I did what any self-respecting GiGi would do. I agitated the situation. So, I say, “If you leave cookies out, I am coming to your house and eating them.” Just the right thing to start some trouble.

I am fully engrossed in a “No you not!” great-godchildren in unison. Reply from me, “Oh yes I am!” tit for tat battle. The parents began pleading for their children to not get riled up, explaining that I do not have a key to their homes. As I respond, “If he can get in, I can get in too.” The laughing parents are now petrified their children may never fall asleep. When I am attacked by a three-year-old.

It started with a stink face from across the room; and then my great-goddaughter leaps to her feet and run towards me. She climbs into my lap with fire in her eyes, grabs my cheeks so that I am staring her eyeball to eyeball, points in my face and yells “If you eat Santa’s cookies, I am going to call you the Cookie Girl!” Fight over! The entire room erupts into uncontrollable laughter, as I promise not to eat Santa’s cookies.

Yeah, I ate the cookies later but that is what Cookie Girls do.

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Enjoying The Spirit of Christmas

 

 

It has been about 10 years since I graceful bowed out of the intense commercialism of the Christmas Holidays.  I was going through a divorce and reevaluating my finances as a single woman. When it dawned on me that Christmas is expensive, and it would benefit me greatly to skip buying presents. During the Thanksgiving Holiday, I made the announcement to my inner circle that Christmas was not in the budget. I apologized if anyone would be disappointed and stated that I would reconsider it later. My inner circle was kind. They stated that I had been more than gracious over the years, and I add so much more to their lives than Christmas gifts.

Although I was not shopping, I desired to visit the Malls and shopping centers. It was wonderful. Instead of frantically searching for gifts, I was calmly strolling. I admired the decorations that I obviously overlooked for years. I sat on a bench near Santa’s Village and laughed hysterically at the pictures being snapped. The sleeping babies, crying toddlers, family portraits, the tidying of hair and clothes, and all the preparation that goes into the perfect picture was entertaining. So entertaining that I visited all the Santa Villages near me for the sheer delight.

Christmas carols, candy canes, trees, wreaths, nativity scenes, and the Spirit of Christmas became alive. I visited neighboring towns Christmas Tree Lighting Festivals. Enjoying apple cider, train rides with my great godson, and huddling with the inner circle for body heat. I traveled to highly publicized light shows and gazed at the millions of lights in awe. Volunteered at Toys for Tots drives, attended fundraisers, banquets, and charitable benefits. Never did I ever imagine all that I was missing from Black Friday to December 24th.  Because my full attention was placed on my Christmas List.

Needless- to- say, I never returned to my annual Christmas List. I found something so much more fulfilling. Not only does the Spirit of Christmas make my heart smile; it has added adventure to my life as I search for new ways to enjoy it.

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Unwanted Gifts

As we approach one of the busiest gift exchange seasons of the year, I have a few thoughts to share. Gifts should be from the heart of the giver, to the heart of the receiver. My Lorrieism is that great gifts show that you pay attention to my spoken as well as unspoken language. I enjoy receiving a gift that I admired (presumably unnoticed), only to find out that the giver caught me and in turn surprised me with it. Instantly two gifts come to mind. One is a chocolate jacket. I mentioned to a coworker that chocolate jackets must be out of fashion because I had unsuccessfully searched for one. The very next day my coworker approached me with a chocolate jacket. She stated that it was a gift to herself, she did not wear it, and would like to give it to me.  The other is a globe. My godchildren totally shocked me with the gift one year for Mother’s Day. I inquired how did they know I liked World Maps. They replied that when browsing in stores I always stop at any item with a map on it.  In each of these scenarios I was pleasantly surprised, but there have been times when I was (for the sake of not sounding ungrateful) simply surprised.

 Thoughts for the Giver:

  • Know the receiver. Restating that the gift is from your heart to theirs. So, give them something that they enjoy. From the scenarios above, listen to the conversation of the receiver. Generally, people talk about the things they like.
    • I need a manicure.
    • I could use a pedicure.
    • A back rub would be delightful.
    • A movie with my spouse without the kids is desperately needed.

When thumbing through magazines or viewing the web, they conversate about what has their attention. People eyes light up, they smile, and their appearance change when excited. When in doubt a general rule of thumb is that practical gifts are awesome. One of the most practical gifts these days are gift cards. From gas, groceries, restaurants, department store, etc. the list is endless.  Cash  always work and all are great ideas.

  • Ask for suggestions. It is simple to say, “What are things that you like? “. Do not ask for suggestions and totally ignore them. I do understand people’s desires can be expensive. But if the suggestions are out of your budget – improvise. I have people in my life with expensive taste and/ or seem to have everything.  Never break the bank trying to provide a gift. A gift says I am thinking about you. Not I can afford you. I have a few expensive taste people in my life, but they also like inexpensive items. I have an expensive taste person that is also frugal. She often saves for her expensive taste, and I am a contributor to the Chanel Purse account.     
  • Ask someone close to them. Deductive logic is a good way to receive information. Friends may not always focus on likes but they know exactly what their friends do not like. Use the information as leverage and work your way backwards. But there are some good sources of information that you may find. The person that knows my likes and dislikes is my daughter. She knows my intimate feelings well. It is scary how she finishes my sentences, tell people my exact answer to questions, and read my facial expressions perfectly.
  • Do not give your desires as a gift. When choosing a gift for someone, make sure to preference their desires over yours. Yes, they may look fabulous in green; but if their favorite color is purple please fight the temptation to buy the green. A desired gift is an appreciated gift.

 Sometimes, I feel guilty because I appreciate the thought even if I do not desire the gift. I have the tale of two watches. One watch was received from a boyfriend. He asked if I would like matching watches and I said no. I explained that I have a high metabolic rate resulting in watches having a short life on my arm. I have tried applying a protective cover to the back of the watch that keeps my skin from direct contact, but inevitably watches are a waste of money as a gift for me. The watches were purchased, I never wore mine, and I was received as disrespectful. My girlfriend gave me a watch, I never wore it, she saw it in a draw while helping me pack to move and took it back. She did not express any attitude, she never mentioned it, and our relationship did not suffer.

Feelings of the receiver of unwanted gifts:

  • Unwanted gifts are sources of stress to the receiver. No one wants to appear to be ungrateful, but it is hard to be excited about something you do not desire. Personally, I do not regift gifts that I have received (without unsolicited permission). Sometimes the giver knows the gift idea may fail and gives you a way out. But sometimes the gift fail and the giver’s delighted to give it to you. And the dilemma begins for me. I do not desire the gift, I do not want to give it to charity, and it lands in the back of my closet (the land of misfit gifts).
  • Forced to lie. How do you respond to questions about gifts you do not desire?
    • You avoid the giver therefore no response is needed.
    • You lie. By stating out loud, “It is a great gift!” while internally saying, “For someone who wants it.” Meanwhile the gift ages in the land of misfit gifts.

Someone is saying, “This is too much drama to show appreciation.” And you are correct.  Just remember the gift is for the receiver and not you. Practical gifts such as gift cards may not say I know you, but they say I am thinking of you.  AND CASH IS ALWAYS GOOD.

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To Be Or Not To Be A Godparent

Confession: I was asked to be a godparent when I was in my teens and I agreed. I had no idea about the concept of becoming a godparent. So, immediately I began shopping. My goddaughter was supplied with milk, pampers and outfits galore. Then reality hit! I left for college, her mom moved to Atlanta, we loss contact, and I was no longer an active godparent. But I learned a valuable lesson. I learned not to make uninformed, uncommitted, lighthearted promises/vows.

Since my failed attempt, I have been honored with many requests to become a godparent and declined most. But I have accepted two requests. One is from a coworker who I entertained throughout her pregnancy. She was the happiest pregnant woman I’ve ever met. She was in her 30’s, this was her firstborn, and she was overjoyed with the idea of being a mom. I was suffering from health complications that were hindering pregnancy and I enjoyed her excitement. I enjoyed it so much that I began adding to it. I would tell her corny jokes, do the MC Hammer dance (at 420 lbs.), supply her favorite snacks, and asked about the baby every time our paths crossed. Although nice to her, I was very surprised when asked me to be a godparent. She had a best friend, close friends in the workplace, and we became closely acquainted during her pregnancy. I declined but she persisted. To the point of demanding I reconsider. But then she wowed me by expressing her main reasons for desiring me to be her child’s godparent. The reasonings were my commitment to the unborn child and my spirituality. Overwhelmed by her thoughtfulness I agreed.

My third goddaughter asked me. You read that correctly. I became a godparent at the request of the godchild. She was about 16 years old. I was trusted and friends with her mother. Her other siblings had godparents and she desired one as well. Again, I tried to decline but was met with great resistance. I carefully reconsidered the offer, consulted her mother, and accepted. Somehow her siblings (who had godparents) now call me their godparent as well. And I have the luxury of being GiGi to two great godchildren and counting. (I have learned better how to decline and stick to my no… so don’t ask… lol.)

Disclaimer: The following information is subject to change depending on denomination, religious beliefs, and religious rituals. Although this topic can be debated, it is thought provoking information.

Qualifications of a Godparent:

It’s clear to me that God is in the word godparent, therefore spirituality should be part of the selection process.

  • A godparent is present at the christening/sprinkling/baptism ceremony for the child.
  • A godparent should themselves be baptized. A spiritual guide must be spiritually guided.
  • A godparent is expected to make an affirmation of faith at the christening to be a spiritual presence.

Gifts, visits, and support are all appreciated. But the role of godparent is to be a spiritual presence in the child life. How this spiritual presence is achieved depends on the parents, child, and godparent. I prayed for my second goddaughter more before birth and relinquished a great deal of the responsibility back to her mother afterbirth.  Her mother was mature, and I was concerned about the pregnancy and delivery.  My third goddaughter was practically an adult so my prayers for her were geared towards her transitioning from teen to young adult.

Guide for selecting a Godparent:

  • Review the Godparent guidelines for your faith of choice and choose accordingly.
  • Be mindful of your faith-based lifestyle and choose someone compatible with your current beliefs. Choosing a godparent with an extremely different set of beliefs may cause confusion for the child.
  • Choose a reliable godparent that will honor their godparent duties regardless of the condition of your personal friendship.
  • Make the best selection for your child. This means best friends, close family, and church leaders may not be chosen.

Guide for accepting the role of a Godparent:

  • Make sure you are qualified to be a Godparent. Review the guidelines for the faith of the child and accept or decline accordingly.
  • Know the faith-based desires of the parents and acknowledge that you will follow their desires even if they are different from yours.
  • Declining a godparent request is acceptable. It is better to decline than to abandon the position.

All involved should be mindful that the spiritual needs of the child change as they age.  Godparents will need to transition along with the child. Being a godparent is a promise/vow and should not be a lighthearted decision. Careful consideration must be applied when choosing a godparent and accepting the godparent position.

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Best Whipping Ever

I had an old school grandma. Belts weren’t plentiful in our house, we lived in the country, and there were plenty of trees. So, switches were the handiest tool for discipline. For those new to the concept of switches. Switches are the devil. They vary in sizes and lengths. They are smaller branches of a tree and they have a short life once removed from the tree; but the short life is lethal. When waved in the air, they slice the air making sounds. There’s a stingy sensation when they strike your skin. Some are so flexible that whatever is struck gets wrapped around (probably why whipping is the name of the event). Trust me they are awful but effective. Show a country child a switch -minds, behaviors, and attitudes change. (I digressed but this is pertinent information).

Now, I was the first grandchild, niece, great-grandchild, great-niece; and then five years later my nemesis was born. My grandma’s first nephew and the Taurus feud began. In the old days we had what was called a home place. For us it was the property my great grandparents purchased, and when they died my grandma became the Matriarch. She lived in the house practically her entire life. And she welcomed a constant flow of her siblings with families, her children, and anyone else who needed a place to call home. Therefore, every Summer my nemesis would surely arrive. And we fought all Summer long.

My nemesis was the devil. Okay, maybe not the devil but surely a thorn in my side. One day nemesis rolled down the stairs, jumps up and runs across the yard screaming bloody murder. My grandma ran to nemesis rescue. She returned to the house extremely angry with me. Nemesis had concocted a wild story that ended with me first pleading for my life, losing my plea, and receiving several lashes with a switch. While nemesis laughed.  I was not happy!

I was so unhappy that I spotted nemesis at the top of the steps on another day and pushed. (I need to explain these stairs. These were concrete stairs. Nothing like the forgiving, I can bend a little under your weight, wood stairs. These stairs were solid. Solid enough that after years of injuries, they were destroyed, and replaced with wood.)  There nemesis laid at the bottom of the stairs, back scarred, bloody, screaming yet motionless. Grandma ran to the rescue, escorted nemesis in the house, bandaged, and placed nemesis in the bed. And I received more lashes with the switch. We both were crying this time.

By now you are saying, WRONG TITLE. But it’s the correct title. Before my second encounter with the switch. My grandma explained that she understood my angry with the first event, because nemesis confessed to lying. But I injured nemesis and she could not allow me to go unpunished. She was bothered by her decision to punish and told her I understood. I promised her that I had always and would always tell her the truth; and she promised to listen.  It was the best whipping ever because it established a bond between my grandma and me. She also never whipped me again!

(By the way, nemesis is still a thorn in my side. We finally outgrew fighting each other and switched to terrorizing others… lol.)

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