I Do Not Care What “They” Said
I have a pet peeve that I have not been able outgrow. It is any statement that starts with “they” said. As a child, my daughter used the statement when asking for permission to go out with friend, “They said to ask if I could_______”. I put a blank because I have no clue what else was stated. “They” said would void the entire sentence. I explained to my daughter how much I detest the statement. I even told her to be direct with her request. But she insisted on “they” said, so the answer became no to everything with “they” said in the sentence. But she was a child, deflecting her desires into “they” said hoping I would say yes. With adults the pet peeve worsened. Coworkers that “they” said me would be met with strong unforgettable words. Associates that “they” said me would be ignored as if a child and never became a friend. Family that “they” said me would be warned of my distaste, then ignored, and finally met with strong unforgettable words. And my inner circle knew that I did not care what “they” said and avoided the statement. So why do I deplore “they” said you might ask?
- ““They” said is a cowardly expression. Anyone who knows me, know that I am not going to throw a rock and hide my hand. I am bold
enough to throw the rock, stand there with another, and throw it as well. “They” is hiding their identity. If you have anything worth saying, own it. People who make bold statements need to be identified. My Lorrieism is if you cannot stand by what you speak, you cannot stand for anything. And why be so bold to make a statement then shrug away from rebuttal or consequences. If you are weak at heart maybe silence should be the preferred stance. - “They” are irrelevant. So, an unidentified person or persons is speaking into people lives or about peoples lives and others should care. I will not, shall not, do not care what “they” said about anything.
Many are gossiping, full of drama, bearers of foolishness. It is pathetic to speak about others business when you can speak on your own. Or is that the problem! “They” do not have any business worth discussing of their own. Spewing vile comments about others because the gossip of someone else is better than their reality. Surely igniting false opinions and illuminating flaws of others can not bring joy. Or does it? - “They” facts are over exaggerated and often completely false. (With the exception of a group of men, who do not qualify as “they”. Men are often telling the truth but leaving out the names of the people standing there. Another exception is an Associate that never became a friend.
Because they never gained enough trust to be a member of your inner circle. I digress.) The point is “they” do not know you. “They” are making superficial or erroneous statements with little to no credibility. My Lorrieism is a statement void of fact is fake news that can be demolished with good character.
And even worse than “they” said is the person who tries to relay to me what “they” said. When addressing this person, I question, “Why do “they” feel so comfortable discussing me with you?” Are you a member of “they” said? Are you one who enjoy the drama filled foolishness? Are you bold enough to have a face- to- face conversation about false accusations with me? Then I state, “They need a life, relevancy, and facts before consider speaking about me. And “they” are probably discussing your foolishness as we speak, because “they” are not loyal”. Then I offer a small bit of advice, “They need to spend time cleaning up their mess instead of creating mess for others”. My final response leading up to strong unforgettable words is, “If “they” said all of this, what do you say?” This abruptly ends the “they” said conversation.
Lorrieism Quote
Childless Nurturer
Love is not the first thing I think of when reflecting on my childhood. As a teenager, I became a foster child. I suffered years of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. I lived in survival mode, and I must admit love was learned later. Survival mode + love = tough love. And tough love does not disqualify me as a nurturer.
When I decided to not become a parent, I was instantly attacked for my decision. I was told that it was my duty as a woman to give birth, and it was inhumane of me to lack the desire for children. I began to doubt my worth as a woman. I was unfairly labeled as non-nurturing. And almost convinced that being childless would render me unable to sympathize or have compassion for others. After evaluating my character, I have rejected these false claims.
Things that qualify me as a nurturer:
- I care for others.
I want everyone to win, prosper, and succeed. My heart’s desire is for everyone to be the best them possible. But I will not carry the problems, responsibilities, or life of another human. I feel each person is responsible for their own life choices and happiness. My Lorrieism is the Quicksand Approach. I suggest that individuals move through life at a steady pace. When you feel like your feet are slipping (caught in quicksand), fall backwards.Falling backwards will allow you to free yourself and fully recover. If you are standing and sinking, make slow steady moves backwards while raising your hands. Do not struggle in one place because you will get stuck. And as a last resort float, breathe, and see your way to safety. If your hands are up, I will throw you a lifeline, give advice, and assist you out of situations.
- I am an encourager.
Encouragement is powerful.It provokes others to commit, take a stance, and move towards a decision. I welcome the mission of encouraging others with words of affirmation, and kind deeds. Far too often we think of encouragers from a positive perspective; but encouragement also has a negative side. When encouraging, I do not partake in pity parties, self-blame, or enable failure. The tough lover in me will confront to the point of anger. But when a goal is achieved, I will be right there to celebrate.
- I am compassionate.
I am no stranger to suffering. Honestly, I am more familiar with suffering and surviving than love. I recognize hidden pain, and long for broken people to become whole. But I am not drawn in by sob stories with no suggested solutions. I will not be emotionally lured in and drained by dead end situations. I am strong! And I will assist with looking beyond the failures of life towards overcoming. But if you simply want a listening ear, you must talk to someone else.
- I am a giver.
Solicitors dream of me. I give from my heart, and it is a joy. Although I give, it is not merely because I was asked; it is because I recognize a need. I am not a bank, and my money does not grow on trees- I earn it. Being that I earn it, I also choose how to disperse it. I will not repeatedly supply the needs of others. And I do not support luxuries. Luxuries are extras, and if you cannot maintain the lifestyle desired financial adjustments and/or discipline is needed.
- I forgive.
My heart has been broken, and I have been disappointed. Yet, I choose to live in forgiveness. I have learned that an unforgiving heart causes personal affliction and self- destruction. Although I forgive, I will end a toxic relationship. My Lorrieism is that forgiveness is detaching from a toxic relationship by attaching to freedom.
I have never cared for what others think of me, but I almost sipped the poison about not being a nurturer. Choosing not to parent did not disqualify as nurturer, it provided me other avenues of nurturing. I am a strong, surviving, loving woman who refuses to be labeled by people who do not understand my heart or identify with my character.
Lorrieism Quote
