Category: Lorrieism Dear Wounded Heart

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Dear Wounded Heart – The Introduction

Ladies, have you ever looked at your date and wondered how you ended up with this person? Do you see a pattern of guys with the same behavior but a new face? It’s good to see this pattern, especially if you don’t want to keep repeating the cycle.

Are we in this cycle because of how we conducted ourselves during the introduction? Have we welcomed and accepted the attention of men that we have no intent to entertain? Were we boisterous about not needing a man, but allowed them to take us out to avoid loneliness? Perhaps we were snobbish, which is a turnoff to a hardworking man, but bait for the chase to a user.

Experience has taught me that men are smarter than we think. And read all our insecurities, lack of boundaries, and character flaws quickly. A healed man runs for an unhealed woman and a predator prey. So, it’s good to see the bad dating practices in our lives, and it’s great to make changes for the better. But where do we start?

We date as healed women. Which means we need to put some work into becoming the women that attracts the men we desire. The process is unique for each of us. Daddy issues, body shaming, unlearned dating techniques, or lack of respect for us require different tactics. Therefore, for a season, we may need to learn and love ourselves.

We can do it! We are worth it! And how wonderful it will be when the healed women in us get introduced to the healed men we desire.

Sincerely,

Healing

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Dear Wounded Heart-Recognize Your Greatness

I self-published a memoir titled UNWANTED; I am Lorrie, and I am a Foster Child. Once the formatting was complete, I hired an advertising and marketing team to assist me with getting the book into customers’ hands. The team read my memoir, and we scheduled our first meeting. I was expecting to speak about the book. But the meeting started with me being described as strong, wise, and a warrior. Then my writing style was described captivating, inspirational, and powerful.

The Director of the project noticed my discomfort and asked me, “Lorrie, are you aware of what it takes to have such a survival story?” With partial embarrassment, I explained that I never considered what it took to survive it because, in my mind, I am still surviving. He then said to me, “Lorrie, you have made it, so do yourself a favor, and learn to enjoy it.”

So, I had to stop and reflect. What I call surviving others sees it as heroic. And as an advocate for abused children, Domestic Violence victims, and marginalized populations of people, I am aware of countless people who didn’t survive abuse. I earned the accolades given to me, and I must learn how to appreciate them.

Sincerely,

Healing

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Dear Wounded Heart – Allow Others to Celebrate You

Dear Wounded Heart,

I have never been a fan of others celebrating me. The orphan mentality buried deep inside doesn’t want recognition. Because it knows from an abandoned point of view how people praise you one moment and persecute you the next. And to avoid the disappointment and emotional strain in its entirety, I have avoided celebrations. As I heal, I am being confronted with something I have been able to hide for most of my life, which is acknowledging the good in me.

I mastered the cover up by celebrating others. Because I was there for memorable moments for others, no one paid attention to my lack of interest in a celebration for myself. But, as I heal, transparency is once again taking its toll on me. I am starting a new chapter in my life that is moving me from the background (a safe place for me) to the forefront. And I not only have to celebrate myself (which I do well) but allow others to celebrate me as well without the orphan mentality of hidden dread. So, here I go again, healing.

 

Sincerely,

Still Healing

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Dear Wounded Heart – Abandonment Issues

Because of childhood abuse, I developed abandonment issues. In my youth, I did not like to be left alone and was clingy. Being clingy created a young adult that not only developed but held on to bad relationships. As a young lady, remaining in a terrible relationship was easier than losing someone. Now, in my healing phase, I realize some people are seasonal.

The inappropriate relationships were lessons. The good ones were impartation. And all experiences are used to build my character. So, I move forward with my hello and goodbye using the same energy. Because whatever happens in a relationship, I will benefit.

Sincerely,

Healing

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Dear Wounded Heart- Embracing Our Truth

 

Dear Wounded Heart,

Sometimes we lie to ourselves and others. I know it seems harsh, but it is the truth. Our past lives may have put us in a self-protective mode. This mode causes us to imagine a better life and lie about our current conditions. I understand. I am not judging, because I lived an existence survived by fantasy and lies. The truth was too painful to share.

Many people can identify with childhood fantasy but may not understand the depth of a wounded heart’s lies. We told protective agencies lies about living conditions. There were lies told to friends and teachers about scars on our bodies. And we pretended that our home was a safe place, knowing it was not. But I get it. We can embrace fantasy and tell the lies of our youth well into our adult life.

It was easy to pull off as a child, but adult lies are offensive. And offended adults will challenge you with the truth. I understand this as well. But there is a solution to this issue. So, today is a new day. We will discard the fantasy, stop the lies, and look at our lives through the lens of truth. We will strive to live our truth daily. No, you don’t have to tell people about your business, explain your past, or answer questions about anything you don’t feel safe to disclose. You can set healthy boundaries and be truthful (which includes the statement “I don’t want to share this information right now”.)


Lies cause distrust and are horrible foundations for relationships. If we can salvage the relationships already proven, let’s do so. But if we can’t, we must move on. By releasing our fantasies, embracing our truth, and honestly expressing our desires to share or not share. This is difficult because we are rewiring our entire existence. But we deserve this, and we can do this.

Love always,

Healing

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