Enjoying Life
Cares for Others
Blog-Sustained Move
After working on my job for three years, a coworker confronted me about wearing cheap shoes and carrying cheap purses. Anyone who knows me knows she was treading thin water. But she was discreet and looked reluctant to make the statement. Caught off guard by her statement and gall, I laughed. Unashamedly, I reminded her she was single with two jobs, while I was a wife and mom. Therefore, our priorities and responsibilities were different.
But I also explained to her a mindset that I maintain to this very day. When I am in a better financial situation, I don’t hastily start spending more money. I reevaluate my current spending, pay off debt, fulfill household and family needs, take an often much needed break or vacation, and lastly splurge on a luxury (more expensive shoes and purses are luxuries in my eyes).
My thoughts are that I want to make a sustained move, whether it be physical or in luxuries. I don’t want to move to a location or buy things I can’t afford, because once I step up in any aspect of life, I don’t want to return. Living beneath my means keeps me in a comfortable position. And for luxuries like shoes and purses, I want the amount of these items to be accessible to me. Meaning if I own a $300 purse, I need access to that amount of money with no stress or strain. If not, it’s not a sustainable move.
Unofficial Hostess
When I was a child, we did not sit in the room with adults and take part in their conversations. There was an unspoken process that occurred that needs to be reinstated with children today. When my mother’s sisters entered the house, the little children would say, “Hey Aunties”, finish whatever they were doing and leave the room. Only staying until after the aunties finished questioning, lecturing, or playing with them. Those of us old enough for the preliminary conversation would make sure all the aunties had a seat. Meaning, get on our feet and say, “Here’s a seat, Auntie.” We would then leave the room, go find another for ourselves, or sit on the floor. But if the conversation turned to husband problems, family issues, or health problems, everyone but the sisters left the room.
This unspoken process established several things:
- Some of us were automatically too young to be in the room. Because babies are going to want to play, and that was a distraction from the fact that mom sisters came to see her and not solely to play with her young children or grandchildren.
- Those of us who were old enough to be in the room were to respect our elders by leaving the room or minimally making sure they have a chair.
- I am grown, but there are conversations between the sisters that are for them and them alone. And even in these moments, we did not totally leave them. We stayed an earshot away from them in case they needed us for anything. Making us the unofficial hostess who often supplied tissue for tears, drinks for dry throats, and snacks or food for empty bellies.
This unspoken process may seem strange too many, but it established respect that is missing from many households today. I honestly think it served me well. And I would love to see it reintroduced to this generation.
