Category: Lorrieism

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Unofficial Hostess

When I was a child, we did not sit in the room with adults and take part in their conversations. There was an unspoken process that occurred that needs to be reinstated with children today. When my mother’s sisters entered the house, the little children would say, “Hey Aunties”, finish whatever they were doing and leave the room. Only staying until after the aunties finished questioning, lecturing, or playing with them. Those of us old enough for the preliminary conversation would make sure all the aunties had a seat. Meaning, get on our feet and say, “Here’s a seat, Auntie.” We would then leave the room, go find another for ourselves, or sit on the floor. But if the conversation turned to husband problems, family issues, or health problems, everyone but the sisters left the room.

This unspoken process established several things:

  1. Some of us were automatically too young to be in the room. Because babies are going to want to play, and that was a distraction from the fact that mom sisters came to see her and not solely to play with her young children or grandchildren.
  1. Those of us who were old enough to be in the room were to respect our elders by leaving the room or minimally making sure they have a chair.
  1. I am grown, but there are conversations between the sisters that are for them and them alone. And even in these moments, we did not totally leave them. We stayed an earshot away from them in case they needed us for anything. Making us the unofficial hostess who often supplied tissue for tears, drinks for dry throats, and snacks or food for empty bellies.

This unspoken process may seem strange too many, but it established respect that is missing from many households today. I honestly think it served me well. And I would love to see it reintroduced to this generation.

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You are a GUEST

 

I don’t entertain often, because being a hostess is stressful for me. What makes it stressful is that people don’t know how to be a guest. So, to assist me with the few occasions that I get the nerve up to be a hostess, I have made sure to never tell a guest to make themselves at home. Because I have seen people tell folk to make themselves at home and then talk behind their backs later.

A guest is anyone that crosses the threshold of my premises without contributing to bills, maintenance, and rules that make the environment livable. As a guest, you are expected to make sure you wash your hands every time you enter the kitchen and exit the bathroom. You are expected to stay in the common access areas of my home (the room or rooms used for this function, kitchen and bathroom). If you are unsure about anything going on in my home, ask me or anyone who is not on the guest list.

People get confused. You are a guest. You do not walk through my home as if at an open house sale. You do not open drawers, closets, or bedroom doors as if you are playing a game of hide and seek. You do not bounce from chair to chair as if you are playing a game of musical chairs. You walk into the designated room for the function (keeping purse, wallet, spouse, and kids with you), find a comfortable chair (with one relocation upon deciding the seat is uncomfortable), you sit your behind down and that’s your spot until you leave.

Now, you may eat and drink all that is served. You can do anything socially acceptable within the confines of the space you now occupy. Take your shoes off, put your feet on the couch, use the comfortable throws to adjust the temperature for your body, use the socks I will gladly provide for your feet, and take a nap if you desire.

There will be a designated legal substance smoking area provided outside. I will allow no one to leave my home intoxicated (providing transportation or shelter if needed) and please make sure that you take home any leftovers available. But you do not live here, you are a guest, and I’d appreciate if you act like one… please and thank you.

 

 

 

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Privileged and Dishonorable Children

 

 

Some of us recall the days when the household finances were for needs, and there were few allowances for luxuries. And some of us vowed to be parents whose children would have whatever they wanted. It was a noble idea, but now we must face an alarming fact.

Have we enabled our children to become privileged and dishonorable? It seems the children who received everything they wanted with no effort are not good people. They have a spirit of entitlement, which promotes ungrateful attitudes towards giving, unappreciated feelings towards receiving, and noncommitment. 

 This has left a generation of workaholics to work an unsafe number of years because some of our children have poor work ethics. We did not consider that earning our desires built character. Which fosters a work ethic, humility, gratefulness, and commitment.

 This imbalance is a costly mistake for many. I am not sure if this is the issue; I am not sure how to fix it if it is. But what I am concerned about is whether the children of today will care for others or even their parents tomorrow.

 

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