Dear Wounded Heart,
I have never been a fan of others celebrating me. The orphan mentality buried deep inside doesn’t want recognition. Because it knows from an abandoned point of view how people praise you one moment and persecute you the next. And to avoid the disappointment and emotional strain in its entirety, I have avoided celebrations. As I heal, I am being confronted with something I have been able to hide for most of my life, which is acknowledging the good in me.
I mastered the cover up by celebrating others. Because I was there for memorable moments for others, no one paid attention to my lack of interest in a celebration for myself. But, as I heal, transparency is once again taking its toll on me. I am starting a new chapter in my life that is moving me from the background (a safe place for me) to the forefront. And I not only have to celebrate myself (which I do well) but allow others to celebrate me as well without the orphan mentality of hidden dread. So, here I go again, healing.
Sincerely,
Still Healing
